Terms of Use

"So where is this bitch going with this?" This is probably the question most of you are asking yourselves, although the statement may vary if you actually care or not (I know I'm a slight bitch; there's no sugar coating it). Considering that you're actually taking the time to read what I actually have to say (which I know is precious time to all; here's where the slow motion would come in handy for facial reactions), I would just like to give you a little high-five.

See? There. You missed it. I'm not raising my arm again.¹

In all seriousness, because seriousness is key to making blogs interesting and fun, I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part to let you all know what you can expect from Le Blog du Le Chat Dangereux.

Yet, as I found myself writing this little post of future tidings, I began wondering, "What the fuck AM I going to write about?" In actuality, as I have spoken with the few people that actually read this blog, I'm writing in it for the same reason I write in my Day One Journal app, priced at $1.99, currently sitting on my iPhone; because I believe that I still have not used the app enough to say that those two dollars have transformed my life and my mobile phone for all eternity. In blog terms, the three hours and a half I spent making simple graphics and modifications to my blog and profile need to be justified.

Maybe some other time I will tell you the origin of Le Chat's blog² along with the countless social media presence out there under that name that currently takes up space in their website's prospective servers, collecting dust and acquiring the name "Ghost Town" to all who pass.

But for now, I have strayed and shall continue on the path of, "What the fuck am I writing about?" I've thought long and hard³, and came up with one answer; everything.

Yes, it is that simple. Everything and anything that just pops into my head and that I feel deserves to have the time taken to actually be written down and accompanied by a graphic, handmade by me. My life takes pretty interesting turns, my dreams are just complete asshole situations, and my relationships may not always leave you wondering "What the fuck?", but they can sure confuse the shit out of you. Along with musical findings and movie reviews (or more tirades on how attractive the men are and how unrealistically achievable it is to possibly be in any type of cinematic situation), who knows what else I'll come up with along the way.

All I can say is stay tuned.

And with that I bid you Adieu!⁴

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¹ No, I'm not that mean. If you'd like to high-five me in real time, please let me know in advance and I will begin to prep for raising my arm.

² Actually the origin of the blog isn't some epic story where I battle dragons and rescue some effeminate prince. Nope, its something more boring than that, so when I do actually write about it, I will assure you that I'll make it as long and agonizingly painful as possible. Hugs!

³ In reality, my thought process lasted for about a milli-second. And for those of you science enthusiasts out there, I don't care how long it ACTUALLY took me to process a thought. That's what it felt like, even though I have no complete conception of how long a milli-second really is.

⁴ Yep. That's was just another French word in yo⁵ face!

⁵ I may exude a few, what they call, "gangster" terms. It's part of my life. My street name is "Wordsmith" and let's not even discuss my street cred.

Qui est Le Chat Dangereux?

Well, first of all, Le Chat Dangereux is not of French descent, origin, or by any other means of French lineage. In fact, the only French influence that Le Chat Dangereux has acquired throughout her existence is that of her five years of attempting to learn the language and then proceed to fail miserably at keeping up with it. Her alias is a homage to her "French roots", so to say, and an attempt to give justification to the five wasted years of having learned nothing at all.¹

Le Chat Dangereux is not a daredevil in any aspect of her life, yet the same can't be said for her driving abilities.²

She does not have David Bowie eyes, although there are a few photographs out there that this statement can be argued with.³

She doesn't enjoy long walks on the beach unless it is during the hours of 12 a.m. to 3 in the morning, when the winds howl near the ocean and the sand doesn't feel as sticky as it should be.⁴

Le Chat Dangereux likes her fonts to be of 8 pt. size or smaller, yet realizes that this may be the reason that her vision is a -6.25 on both the left and right eyes.⁵

She is well aware of the close significance of her choice of alias. So to touch base on the matter, there will be no talk of pussies, dangerous or otherwise. 

She is not a virgin, so there might be talk of pussies, dangerous or otherwise.⁶

Le Chat Dangereux is currently available and feels that the opposite sex should have the same sentiments as her confidantes have; that she is an awesome person who deserves to have someone give it to her right every night.⁷

She isn't the prettiest girl in the world, nor the ugliest. She just has this face, that comes with a pair of lips, one nose, and two eyes. Along with this face comes a set of ears attached to the sides, hair that extends down to the tip of her shoulders, dyed half in blue (currently), and a smile that could still your beating heart.⁸

She enjoys viewing moments in life as if they all deserved their own cinematic exposure and feels that life would look much more attractive if there was an option of movement in slow motion.⁹

She is a friend, although she doesn't have many; a lover, although she currently doesn't have anyone to love; a fighter, mentally she's fought the world; and a mother, in terms of "one badass motherfucker."

Qui est Le Chat Dangereux?

Elle est moi.

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¹ If asked, she attributes this to it not being her fault, but that of her instructors who didn't teach her how to completely express herself in this romance language using social situations. Instead, they taught her how to write it. So basically, don't expect Le Chat to come up to you speaking in fluent French, but do acknowledge the fact that she can write the hell out of it in letter form.

² Drivers who see pedestrians as points should not be allowed on the road, unless they are contributing to the overall evolution of mankind by weeding out the bad ones.

³ She enjoys and is amused by this little tidbit very much.

⁴ She hates sand. It's a passionate argument and I wouldn't bring it up if I were you. 

⁵ Vision is worsening as we speak. 

⁶ In terms of relationships and sexual encounters/escapades or phrases, Le Chat Dangereux is, for a lack of better words, very heated in her discussions of the opposite sex. In other words, she has no boundaries. For instance, ass-raped: how she feels on a daily basis when automobiles drive too close to her car from behind.

⁷ Although every night may seem excessive, this is the current frequency in which Dangereux feels she should be pleasured to.

⁸ Smile could be a mechanism of attack, so be mindful. 

⁹ Although this notion could potentially ruin time as we know it, at least time would look good being ruined.