I'm Feeling Thankful

Voyage of the Mayflower à la Dangereux

In honor of the Thanksgiving tradition of giving thanks, I've decided to write a post on thirty things that have made me thankful this year. Unfortunately, I'm more thankful during Christmas because that's when you get goodies from everyone, but I guess I can use last Christmas' acquired fortune in case I don't reach the quota that I've set up for myself. In regards to this tradition, I still ponder why it's thirty days of giving thanks, when in reality, we only make it up to the twenty-fourth. But who am I to battle with tradition on this magical day of thanking your lord that you can cook one hell of a meal and knock the fuck out right after.

So here goes nothing. I'm thankful for the following things:

• the discovery of wedges



Especially These Four!

• the discovery of my ability to braid my own hair
• I've attempted to use my superpower towards others, but alas, it won't work on others.
• Spotify and its ability to listen to full discographies or just any damn song I want
• I apologize Pandora, but you say that you're a radio station and then you play the same DAMNED songs over and over again, in various radio stations might I state. You do know that there are over a BILLION¹ songs out there. Once you get that through your little heads, please notify Y100. They, too, only believe that ten songs exist in the world.
• AC/DC is finally on iTunes
• Whoever signed the damn contract or got them to budge, I owe you a fancy dinner and an impromptu² invitation back to my place.
• all the amazing concerts I've been able to go to, ranging from the Black Keys in Madison Square Garden to Metric at the Fillmore in Miami Beach. It's been a complete blast and I can't wait for.
• If I had the opportunity to attend each concert twice, I would wholeheartedly take that chance! If only each band would play two nights in a row in each area.

• I've finally figured out how to actually put on the Sally Hansen "Salon Effects"
• Yes, this is indeed did happen after finally taking the time to sit down and slowly, but surely, put on the damned nails.³

• this lovely blog that allows me to express my feelings about certain films, music, products, and events however which way I choose
• my iPhone
• Yes, I'm THAT materialistic that this is one of the things I'm thankful for. The app I'm most thankful for: Maps. I've been known to get lost a few times and these past few weeks have forced me to use alternate routes. So thank you makers of Maps! You now have one less person lost in life.
• another year at probably the greatest job in the world next to Ringleader at the Circus
• I believe that being the Ringleader of a Circus would be an awesome job because all you'd have to do is introduce each act and look great in a top hat doing so. My next greatest job in the world: soundtrack selector for films.⁴
• insurance
• Unfortunately, I will no longer have insurance by the end of the year, so yes, I'm thankful I have it for another week or so and thankful that I discovered how great it was the month before it expired.
• online shopping
• You have no idea how much of a convenience this is for me. And now that I've bought shoes online, I feel that I can buy the world.
• great friends and coworkers
• Without them, the hours of time would pass in a speed that can only be described as paint drying. You gals are the best and here's an imaginary glass of wine⁵ to you all!
• the lack of serious injuries this year on my behalf
• Every now and then, something bad happens to me, whether it may be that I need surgery or that I can't move because I've thrown out my back. So far this year, nothing drastic or life-altering has happened. Unfortunately, now that I have stated this, December is looking pretty scary.
• Pinterest
• Now everyone and their grandmother are on Pinterest, but believe me when I say that there is still great pinners out there and boards that you can only dream of having found those pictures.
• hot ass men
• Admit it. Some of you saw this coming. Ladies, we need to rejoice that there are beautiful men out there⁶ and even though the chances are slim, be thankful that we can dream.
• dreams
• online television and the power of Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon Prime combined
• If it wasn't for all these wonderful people, I have no idea how I would have survived those long sleepless nights or I-need-to-be-watching-something dinners.
• reading
• It's been quite a while since I've read any book. I've missed it a lot, but I've started up again. If it wasn't for my curiosity about those Fifty Shades novels⁷, I would've completely gone a whole year without reading and to me, that's death. So thanks, Fifty! And by the way, I've read more provocative stories filthier than yours that would have your little masochistic ass running for cover, no pun intended.
• my newfound motivation on crafting
• Yes, I feel like being crafty and every time I do so, Beastie Boy's 'She's Crafty' runs through my brain.⁸
• my adorable puppies
• Yes, one has bad breath, the other lays down as if posing for Playgirl, one smells your eyes, and the other has a God complex, but I love them all and they are the cutest bunch of puppies out there.
• inspiring films
• In the midst of all the crap that Hollywood puts out throughout the year, I'm thankful for those rare gems that capture, motivate, inspire, and almost every time, make you awe in perpetual silence!
• my bookshelf
• Without out it, all the countless subscriptions to magazines that I have acquired throughout the year would have no place in my life, instead of now, where they are collecting dust on thanked bookshelf.
• the wonder that is IKEA
• I swear, sometimes I can kiss you Swedes!
• personal headphones
• Without it, most people would hear me listening to Justin Bieber's 'All Around the World'.⁹
• my sexy ass car
• I swear, if you break down on me now, I'll curse you to hell and back. But might I say, the long road that we travel wouldn't be bearable if it wasn't for your sunroof capabilities and volume potentiality.

• my family
• I know they're going to crucify me for putting them this far down the list, but I believe in saving the best for last¹⁰. As a whole, they are truly hilarious and a blast to be around. I look forward to times of road trips and family adventures because what better time to spend your vacation than with your very own Munsters.¹¹
• my mother
• She is my rock, my paper, my scissors, my pain in the ass, but I love her more than words can say. And if it wasn't for the fact that she slept with my dad, I wouldn't be here. So I'm thankful that she loved him enough to go all the way. Thanks Mom!¹²
• my father
• To sum it up, the man bought memory pills and forgot where he put them. How can you not love that!
• my grandmother
• She's always there with a cup of cafe con leche and two slices of toast. Te quiero mucho Abuela!¹³
• and last but not least, my kick-ass sister
• There are no few words to describe how truly amazing my little sis really is. She makes me laugh when no one else can and she makes me proud like no other person does. I know she's reading this¹⁴, so here you go little shit, the only written proof¹⁵ that you mean the world to me. And I swear, if you come into my room and you're crying, I'm going to throw you out.

So there you have it. These are the things that I'm most thankful for this year. I can only hope that next year the winds of change will move me in another positive direction and guide to more things that I can be thankful for because if not, I'm just copying and pasting from this list. Now, if you'd like me to succeed this list with things that I'm NOT thankful for, I can assure you that thirty slots wouldn't be enough.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
 

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¹ Estimation.

² Impromptu on your part.

³ Didn't help that I bought TWO of the damned nail decals for my second attempt of application.

⁴ This is one job that I believe I am well suited for.

⁵ Imaginary on your part because I'm totally boozing it up.

⁶ Queue 'It's Raining Men' by the Weather Girls. 

⁷ No judgement.

⁸ Only the chorus. I have and have not stolen anything that didn't belong to me, that I know of.

⁹ Yes, you heard me. I said it. I currently have Bieber fever. Deal with it!

¹⁰ Or at least that's what I'll tell them.

¹¹ I had written Brady Bunch, but I enjoyed the Munsters series much more than all those crazed blonde kids.

¹² I know she's going to kill me for this.

¹³ Yes, I'm speaking Spanish.

¹⁴ Because I told her to.

¹⁵ Other than the various times I've hacked into your Facebook.