Passing the time around the water cooler at work is sometimes a needed exercise when it comes to the stressful times of deadlines, elongated meetings, and work overload. Fortunately, that is not the case pour moi. Yes, there are deadlines. Yes, our meetings take place for about three hours. Yes, sometimes I have to work on eight1 different things and yes, it does get stressful at times, but in actuality, this is only twenty percent of the time.2 I enjoy what I do immensely, immensely because there is no other word in the world that could probably amount to how much I love my job.3 Now, I'm not here to brag about how wonderful and full my life is or that I have the job of my dreams and you don't. No, I'm simply here to make a point. And that point, which I know you're probably saying, 'Serious woman! Now's when you stop shooting the shit,' is that I have a blast at my job... Because we are the craziest, funniest, dirtiest, and sweetest bunch you'll ever meet. And here's one of the reasons why.
About a few weeks ago ("weeks" meaning before my elongated hiatus/writing vacation), the girls and I were discussing what every female group at work discusses: men, music, shoes, and sex.4 Now, most of us at work are what you can call a 'wordsmiths.' What's a 'wordsmith' you may ask? According to the Meriam Webster Dictionary online, a wordsmith (or word-smith [wurd-smith]) is:
1. an expert in the use of words.
2. a person, as a journalist or novelist, whose vocation is writing
Now, we've never written a book nor graduated from the field of journalism, but I'm pretty damn sure that we deserve this title to be written on our gravestones. "Here lies Dangereux. Daughter, Sister, Badass Motherfucker, Wordsmith to the Max."5 What in hell are you talking about, you may say, or did you just kill yourself, you montardTM.6 What I was trying to say, before I rudely interrupted myself, is that I and the Awesomely Grand Family at work have come up with a series of names for something we all know too well when it comes to having not enough time on our hands: the days of the weak.
Now it's not your usual days of the week (notice the spelling of the phrase). No, this isn't your usual, "Hey TGIF!" Yes, that would be boring. This is just a little something that has been created to give you a different perspective on what you can do on a weekly basis.
Before I go into detail, therefore changing the context of this post which was meant to serve as an introductory statement, I'm just going to go ahead and stop here, leaving it at that. So stay tuned to the Days of the Weak, where extended use is recommended.
1 Probably not a true amount, but it sounds good for literary purposes.
2 No idea, again, about the truth of this amount.
3 NOTE to Self: Find word.
4 Actually, we talk about EVERYTHING.
5 Quite costly, but worth it.
6 Montard is the combination of mongolic and retarded, mixed in with a little tiredness, on my part, and a dash of stupidity. I always say that I have my functioning hours, this meaning that around certain times throughout the day, my knowledge is rendered as useless. This wonderful word was spawned during one of the times, on one of those days, when speaking to me is as pointless as speaking to pigeon.7
7 No pigeons were harmed during this statement.