I'm Feeling Thankful

Voyage of the Mayflower à la Dangereux

In honor of the Thanksgiving tradition of giving thanks, I've decided to write a post on thirty things that have made me thankful this year. Unfortunately, I'm more thankful during Christmas because that's when you get goodies from everyone, but I guess I can use last Christmas' acquired fortune in case I don't reach the quota that I've set up for myself. In regards to this tradition, I still ponder why it's thirty days of giving thanks, when in reality, we only make it up to the twenty-fourth. But who am I to battle with tradition on this magical day of thanking your lord that you can cook one hell of a meal and knock the fuck out right after.

So here goes nothing. I'm thankful for the following things:

• the discovery of wedges



Especially These Four!

• the discovery of my ability to braid my own hair
• I've attempted to use my superpower towards others, but alas, it won't work on others.
• Spotify and its ability to listen to full discographies or just any damn song I want
• I apologize Pandora, but you say that you're a radio station and then you play the same DAMNED songs over and over again, in various radio stations might I state. You do know that there are over a BILLION¹ songs out there. Once you get that through your little heads, please notify Y100. They, too, only believe that ten songs exist in the world.
• AC/DC is finally on iTunes
• Whoever signed the damn contract or got them to budge, I owe you a fancy dinner and an impromptu² invitation back to my place.
• all the amazing concerts I've been able to go to, ranging from the Black Keys in Madison Square Garden to Metric at the Fillmore in Miami Beach. It's been a complete blast and I can't wait for.
• If I had the opportunity to attend each concert twice, I would wholeheartedly take that chance! If only each band would play two nights in a row in each area.

• I've finally figured out how to actually put on the Sally Hansen "Salon Effects"
• Yes, this is indeed did happen after finally taking the time to sit down and slowly, but surely, put on the damned nails.³

• this lovely blog that allows me to express my feelings about certain films, music, products, and events however which way I choose
• my iPhone
• Yes, I'm THAT materialistic that this is one of the things I'm thankful for. The app I'm most thankful for: Maps. I've been known to get lost a few times and these past few weeks have forced me to use alternate routes. So thank you makers of Maps! You now have one less person lost in life.
• another year at probably the greatest job in the world next to Ringleader at the Circus
• I believe that being the Ringleader of a Circus would be an awesome job because all you'd have to do is introduce each act and look great in a top hat doing so. My next greatest job in the world: soundtrack selector for films.⁴
• insurance
• Unfortunately, I will no longer have insurance by the end of the year, so yes, I'm thankful I have it for another week or so and thankful that I discovered how great it was the month before it expired.
• online shopping
• You have no idea how much of a convenience this is for me. And now that I've bought shoes online, I feel that I can buy the world.
• great friends and coworkers
• Without them, the hours of time would pass in a speed that can only be described as paint drying. You gals are the best and here's an imaginary glass of wine⁵ to you all!
• the lack of serious injuries this year on my behalf
• Every now and then, something bad happens to me, whether it may be that I need surgery or that I can't move because I've thrown out my back. So far this year, nothing drastic or life-altering has happened. Unfortunately, now that I have stated this, December is looking pretty scary.
• Pinterest
• Now everyone and their grandmother are on Pinterest, but believe me when I say that there is still great pinners out there and boards that you can only dream of having found those pictures.
• hot ass men
• Admit it. Some of you saw this coming. Ladies, we need to rejoice that there are beautiful men out there⁶ and even though the chances are slim, be thankful that we can dream.
• dreams
• online television and the power of Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon Prime combined
• If it wasn't for all these wonderful people, I have no idea how I would have survived those long sleepless nights or I-need-to-be-watching-something dinners.
• reading
• It's been quite a while since I've read any book. I've missed it a lot, but I've started up again. If it wasn't for my curiosity about those Fifty Shades novels⁷, I would've completely gone a whole year without reading and to me, that's death. So thanks, Fifty! And by the way, I've read more provocative stories filthier than yours that would have your little masochistic ass running for cover, no pun intended.
• my newfound motivation on crafting
• Yes, I feel like being crafty and every time I do so, Beastie Boy's 'She's Crafty' runs through my brain.⁸
• my adorable puppies
• Yes, one has bad breath, the other lays down as if posing for Playgirl, one smells your eyes, and the other has a God complex, but I love them all and they are the cutest bunch of puppies out there.
• inspiring films
• In the midst of all the crap that Hollywood puts out throughout the year, I'm thankful for those rare gems that capture, motivate, inspire, and almost every time, make you awe in perpetual silence!
• my bookshelf
• Without out it, all the countless subscriptions to magazines that I have acquired throughout the year would have no place in my life, instead of now, where they are collecting dust on thanked bookshelf.
• the wonder that is IKEA
• I swear, sometimes I can kiss you Swedes!
• personal headphones
• Without it, most people would hear me listening to Justin Bieber's 'All Around the World'.⁹
• my sexy ass car
• I swear, if you break down on me now, I'll curse you to hell and back. But might I say, the long road that we travel wouldn't be bearable if it wasn't for your sunroof capabilities and volume potentiality.

• my family
• I know they're going to crucify me for putting them this far down the list, but I believe in saving the best for last¹⁰. As a whole, they are truly hilarious and a blast to be around. I look forward to times of road trips and family adventures because what better time to spend your vacation than with your very own Munsters.¹¹
• my mother
• She is my rock, my paper, my scissors, my pain in the ass, but I love her more than words can say. And if it wasn't for the fact that she slept with my dad, I wouldn't be here. So I'm thankful that she loved him enough to go all the way. Thanks Mom!¹²
• my father
• To sum it up, the man bought memory pills and forgot where he put them. How can you not love that!
• my grandmother
• She's always there with a cup of cafe con leche and two slices of toast. Te quiero mucho Abuela!¹³
• and last but not least, my kick-ass sister
• There are no few words to describe how truly amazing my little sis really is. She makes me laugh when no one else can and she makes me proud like no other person does. I know she's reading this¹⁴, so here you go little shit, the only written proof¹⁵ that you mean the world to me. And I swear, if you come into my room and you're crying, I'm going to throw you out.

So there you have it. These are the things that I'm most thankful for this year. I can only hope that next year the winds of change will move me in another positive direction and guide to more things that I can be thankful for because if not, I'm just copying and pasting from this list. Now, if you'd like me to succeed this list with things that I'm NOT thankful for, I can assure you that thirty slots wouldn't be enough.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
 

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¹ Estimation.

² Impromptu on your part.

³ Didn't help that I bought TWO of the damned nail decals for my second attempt of application.

⁴ This is one job that I believe I am well suited for.

⁵ Imaginary on your part because I'm totally boozing it up.

⁶ Queue 'It's Raining Men' by the Weather Girls. 

⁷ No judgement.

⁸ Only the chorus. I have and have not stolen anything that didn't belong to me, that I know of.

⁹ Yes, you heard me. I said it. I currently have Bieber fever. Deal with it!

¹⁰ Or at least that's what I'll tell them.

¹¹ I had written Brady Bunch, but I enjoyed the Munsters series much more than all those crazed blonde kids.

¹² I know she's going to kill me for this.

¹³ Yes, I'm speaking Spanish.

¹⁴ Because I told her to.

¹⁵ Other than the various times I've hacked into your Facebook.

Cinematic Fancies

In lieu of the various films that are currently being released for the up and coming winter break (in which I have no such break and can only hope and dream of Christmas past), I have complied a list of sorts for yours and my entertainment. This is just a mini-list, term used loosely, on a few cinematic attractions that have caught my fancy.¹

NOTE: Also, take in mind that I have made my assumptions on the greatness of these films based on the trailer and we all know how that can take a different turn most of the time. And go ahead and click on the image to watch what I'm talking about.

Keira Knightley, Jude Law & Aaron Johnson in Anna Karenina

Anna Karenina. This looks utterly majestic. The costumes, the artistry, even the music (in which using Two Steps From Hell's 'Nero' in the trailer is a +) makes me put this as my first choice to see in theaters. And a blonde Aaron Johnson? Weird and unusual, but I'll take it. I'm very fond of period pieces and enjoy the portrayals of elegance, poise, and sophistication that each character brings to the screen. I always come out feeling and saying 'I wish I wore those ginormous dresses.' And then there's the men. Yes, they were scoundrels and jerks and maniacal, calculating bastards, but damn, do they look good in period-piece clothing. And as far as the plot goes, I'm a huge fan of the love triangle or the there-are-certain-obstacles-that-can't-let-them-be-together-but-they-will-do-their-best-to-continue-their-love plot. What I do find interesting about this film is that for the first time ever, Jude Law is NOT the other guy! He's the one that gets cheated on! I know. I couldn't believe it as well. This is the first existing example, for me, of the most dreaded situation that can happen to an actor: being cast as the old guy.² I still look at him as that young, sexy homosexual in Wilde or that sexy piece of ass that Kevin Spacey was sleeping with in Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil.³ I know that we all age and our roles in life change with it. I just miss him being that hunk of a man he really is. Lately, he's been hiding behind a beard, which I believe will continue to grow for the rest of his existence because this isn't the first beard he's showcased for a movie (Sherlock Holmes anyone?). Regardless, this film looks to be wonderfully magnificent and a must-see in my eyes.

SIDENOTE: Unfortunately half the screen captures I've seen look like ALL Keira Knightley movies so forgive me if this picture looks indistinguishable from the rest.

Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz & Leonardo DiCaprio in Django Unchained

Django Unchained. Directed by Quentin Tarantino. Enough said. Then you add a remixed version of James Brown's 'The Payback' and you've got cinema gold. And forgive me for saying that Christoph Waltz looks mighty fine as the bounty hunter that teaches Jamie Foxx how to kill the bad guys. I wouldn't mind if he came looking for me in the middle of the night. I really enjoy how Tarantino lays out his films in a storytelling manner. You know you're not just watching a movie, but in reality a piece of art. And you can tell by the way he films, with interesting angles and photographic close-ups. And of course, his musical selections for his films are unparalleled and spot on. I like knowing about those little facts that make films increasingly entertaining, like in the last scene where Jamie Foxx informs that the 'D' is silent in his name (which I still have issues saying), he's actually speaking to the man that played Django in the original film. And then you've got Leonardo DiCaprio playing the bad guy, whom I admire as an actor for having grown from his tragic hero-esque personas he used to play. I simply just can't wait!

Alice Englert & Alden Ehrenreich in Beautiful Creatures

Beautiful Creatures. Right off the bat, the trailer begins with Florence + the Machine's 'Seven Devils'. Need I say more? This supernatural romance has me completely intrigued, up to the point where I want to start reading the novels. And it's not your usual Twilight flick. No, you can tell that this is going to be something different of the sorts. Completely new actors is a good thing because you know that there HAS to be more talent out there than Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. But yes, for this one I'm utterly excited and I can't wait. February 13th, I've marked you on my calender.

Kristen I Can't Act Stewart, Robert Should of Dumped Her Ass Pattinson & Sexy As Fuck Lee Pace in Twilight: Finally

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2. Okay, let's be honest. Did you seriously not see this coming? I mean, come on people. I've sat through all of them. How could I not see how it all ends! And let's take into consideration the horrific scarring of the changes of the moon which will now and forever be connected to this damned series. I'm not even going to go into the discussion that Kristen Stewart only has one face for EVERY reaction and Robert Pattinson isn't even THAT hot. The only thing I'm looking forward to from this flick: the other fucking vampires. Yes. I'm damned tired of seeing the same damned vampires (except Jasper; I've got a soft spot for that guy) parading around Bella. I will admit; I really did enjoy the last movie because it was somewhat intriguing. Even though, again, Bella looked like she felt like vomitting through her entire wedding and honeymoon, it was still a pretty good movie. As far as Jacob, since I did not read the book, I can only assume that he just claimed 'dibs' on Reneesemee (or however you spell that dreadful name), and that's just wrong on SO MANY levels. Either way, I'm watching this, by choice.

SIDENOTE: Check out the amazing Photoshop skills displayed here in this lovely screen capture that I have acquired. Believe me when I say that I thought this was fan art only to find that there is an ACTUAL poster with this horrific monstrosity amplified.

Voice Talents of Hugh Jackman, Alec Baldwin & Jude Law in Rise of the Guardians

Rise of the Guardians. Santa Claus has a fucking tattoo. Said and Done!

Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage & Martin Freeman in The Hobbit: Something About A Journey

The Hobbit: Another Long Ass Walk. As long as their not walking for the entire length of the film, which happened to last about three hours in the last movie, them I'm good. But in reality, I'm only going to see Richard Armitage as a dwarf. Actually, practically all the damn dwarves look good in this film. So, I'm going to go see all of them. They're the closest thing to gnomes I can get instead of Gnomeo and Juliet. Oh, and I believe Lee Pace is also in this film as well.


On a Cinematic Sidenote:

Mila Kunis, James Franco & Rachel Weisz in Oz: the Great and Powerful or Something Like That

Oz: The Great and Powerful. This is another film that I simply cannot wait till it hits theaters. The only reason I have put it so far down on the list is because I currently have a bit of 'beef', for a lack of better words, if you will, with this film. Apparently, out of the three witches, one of them will become the Wicked Witch of the West and there is speculation on who it will be. Well, it can't be the woman in white because, 'Hello'! That's Glinda, Glenda, or whatever that Good Witch's name is who but all provides mini proverbs to Dorothy instead of helping her out as she should of and just sending her home in the first place. Maybe its the witch with the peacock feathers! Yes, let's completely overlook that Mila Kunis is wearing a hat that ONLY SLIGHTLY resembles the hat of the Wicked Witch of the West. Whoever it may be (*cough cough* Mila Kunis), this film is sure to be a visual pleasure.

The Creepiness That is this Commercial

World War Z. Seriously? Brad Pitt in a zombie movie? Now all I can think about is that damned Chanel commercial. No matter what film he does, I will always think of this ridiculous and creepy perfume campaign. Thank you Chanel! My ovaries no longer yearn for the touch of Brad Pitt.

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¹ And let's ignore the fact that I have been gone for about four months. I've been slightly busy, lazy, a little bit of everything. Just enjoy the fact that I'm back writing, though I can't guarantee you it is for good! I'm sporadic like that.

² Goes for women as well.

³ Yes. I totally did just realize that the man has been in an innumerable amount of films that have him playing a homosexual. Oh well! If you've got those boyish features, flaunt them any which way you can!